Cosmo is not known for being a shining light of nuanced political theory, what with getting those articles about incestuous love and summer wedding dresses (an aside: I haven’t attended a wedding for at least ten years for the same reasons I wouldn’t attend an assissted suicide party). But Cosmo UK decided to do its part to elevate political discourse in Britain and published an article critical of MP Philip Davies, who spoke at the International Conference on Men’s Issues, organized by the Justice for Men and Boys party.
The speech itself concerns the different (and better) treatment of women in the English justice system compared to men, and the silence of feminists when it comes injustices perpetrated against men as a sex by the courts. The quote that has set a wild, curly hair up feminists’ collective asses is the following:
“In this day and age the feminist zealots really do want women to have their cake and eat it. They fight for their version of equality on all the things that suit women – but are very quick to point out that women need special protections and treatment on other things.”
He goes into several examples of this including policy that men must wear prison uniforms, but women are exempt because prison uniforms may hurt their “self-esteem,” that women receive lighter sentences than men, they are less likely to be sent to prison for the same crimes as men, and they are more likely to be granted parole than men. He also cited facts, figures, statistics, and all that other good stuff.
So what insightful rebuttal have feminists offered against this clear disparity in the treatment of men versus women? What pearls of wisdom does feminism have to offer for the intellectual treasure house of humanity?
Pictures of bitches eating cake.
Suddenly, the assissted suicide party doesn’t seem like such a terrible idea.
Compass staff #feministzealot s having cake and eating it #letthemeatcake http://bit.ly/2bkZSav
Whelp, since this argument as already descended into the gutter, I might as well offer a couple of curbstomps.
You know you were thinking it too. (RIP Isaac Hayes)
Annie Bell-Carfrae @AnnieJBC h15 hours ago
Hey @PhilipDaviesMP just washing my cake down with a glass of mens tears #feministzealot #letthemeatcake
Really? Warm piss was going to be my guess.
Karen O’Donnell @kmrodonnell 16 hours ago
bakes cake, works hard, wants equal pay and equal opportunities #feministzealot #letthemeatcake @PhilipDaviesMP
You shouldn’t leave the dog’s food on the floor instead of the counter. You don’t want your pets to get into the habit of jumping up on tables to eat.
Emma Jackson @EmmakJackson 16h16 hours ago
Lovely spot in New Cross for being a #feministzealot #letthemeatcake
Put it down. It’s just flour, eggs, butter, and sugar. It will never love you back.
rosie rogers @rorogers123 h15 hours ago
Well this Madeira cake tastes better than @PhilipDaviesMP’s sexism #letthemeatcake #cakenothate #feministzealot
Madeira Cake is just the Pound Cake’s homely sister, sort of like this you resemble the homely sister of the female who doesn’t take pictures of herself shoving a fistful of cake in her face.
Emily Buchanan @_emilybuchanan 15 hours ago Islington, London
My cake’s crumbling like the patriarchy #letthemeatcake #feministzelot @PhilipDaviesMP
I have more regard for a woman who allows herself to be photographed naked than one who allows herself to be photographed eating like a slob.
Diana JohnsonVerified account @DianaJohnsonMP 13 hours ago
Enjoying cake & eating it too! #letthemeatcake #feministzealot @PhilipDaviesMP
CAKE! UNLIMITED CAKE!
God, I hate Twitter.
Cosmo writer Ellen Scott gushed at this petulant display of narcissistic gluttony aping political discourse, calling it “brilliant” and “glorious” and “funny.”
What’s the take away from this? Cosmo is a shit publication, but that’s not really new information. The interesting thing to note here is that it may be possible to utilize cake as a lure to trick feminists into climbing into large packing containers, then shipping those containers to distant corners of the world where women are not allowed to eat cake or use Twitter without a man’s permission.