Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth: My Favorite Election Night Tweets

Below is just a few of the hilarious tweets from Election Night 2016.

My cup of Feminist Tears runneth over. The cool, refreshing brew of their anguish nourishes the very depths of my soul.

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Stay losing, Clementine.

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Bill Clinton was on the ballot? Pretty sure he can’t run for President again.

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Oh Jess. You never have anything clever to say. Why start now?

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Yes. Hillary Clinton is a disreputable criminal who has spent the last 24 years not just fucking up America, but the world in general. Her handiwork is readily in evidence from Kosovo, to Haiti, to Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Egypt, and Syria, that’s what’s gone wrong.

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Hear that white women? Hillary is your representative. Can I just CC all of you the invoice for Libya?

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Whereas white men should vote for the non-white non-man because…reasons?

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Yes, that is the only explanation, Amanda. Hillary is beautiful and perfect and sprang forth fully formed from the head of Zeus like the goddess Athena.

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Obama’s approval ratings are probably as legitimate as the pre-election polls were.

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NO U.
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White women, if you voted for Trump, it just means that your husband was standing over your shoulder with his belt wrapped around his hand, ready to put you back in your place if you pulled the wrong lever.

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You heard Amanda. Only women are allowed to have mating preferences, not men. We’re just supposed to take any piece of pussy that lands on our lap.

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You left out backlash to war, debt, bureaucracy and tyranny.

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Or, to make David more concise: MAH COLD WAR!”

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Once again, making David more concise: “How dare these filthy peasants not vote the way I want? They should be flogged for their impertinence!”

America, this is how the majority of the Beltway views you.

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That’s right. Wish death and destruction on your political adversaries.

America, this is how the majority of the Beltway views you.

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Notices the Yarmulke in the photo

Mr. Howerton and Mrs. Valenti, how long have you been anti-Semites?

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Hisham… you’re okay, dude. Have a cookie.

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You know that thing I talk about? That thing where, rather than argue about issues, you just declare them morally unfit and because of that you win?

You’re doing it again, Pauly Krugnuts.

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