Well, gentlemen, it looks like 2016 is the end of the line. Despite the best efforts of our overlords in The Patriarchy (Blessed Are The Patriarchs!), it seems we just can’t keep a lid on the fact that women are wonderful and we’re just lucky they permit us to occupy the same plane of existence as they do.
In fact, despite the well-oiled propaganda machine of the Patriarchy (Blessed Are The Patriarchs!) that tells women they are sex objects, and rape culture, and did I forget to mention wage gap, the innate superiority of the female sex cannot be denied any longer.
In 2016, these 35 nuggets escaped from the Ministry of Patriarchal Truth to awaken women to their natural goddess-hood and the inferiority of the male sex.
Many Bothans died to bring us this information.
1. Better At Budgeting Than Men
It’s no secret that women budget better than men – or maybe it’s a well kept secret from men.
2. Better At Competing Under Pressure Than Men
But Dr. Krumer also explained that future research may show that women handle pressure better than men outside of the sports spectrum, too. “The fact that we have uncovered such robust evidence that women can respond better than men to competitive pressure calls for further investigation in other real-life tournament settings,” Dr. Krumer said.
3. Better At Paying Their Mortgages Than Men
The recent study looked at all types of borrowers, including single men, single women and couples. They compared data from 13 million women and 17 million men across a vast range of socioeconomic factors. They found that “if a male-only (most likely a single man) borrower has a 6% probability of default, a female-only (most likely a single woman) borrower with the same characteristics would be expected to default at a 5.8% rate,” according to the study. That means women are .2% better at not missing payments.
4. Better At Picking Up Women
Who knows women better than lesbians?
When it comes to picking up women, lesbians know what women like. Every woman has had her fair share of being approached by cheesy Chads or sleazy Sals who think their pick-up lines will magically work the third time around.
There comes a point when some ladies decide they’d prefer charming Chelseas or seductive Serenas. And hey, they say, “Do what you know,” right?
5. Better At Remembering Things Than Men
When it comes to memory, a new study suggests women remember more than men.
Research published in the journal Menopause looked at more than 200 middle aged men and women.
Women did better than men on all memory measures, but postmenopausal women did not do as well as women before menopause.
6. Better At Surviving Gunshot Wounds To the Head
Better motor control of limbs, pupil response, and lower overall trauma score all predicted higher chances of survival, the study found. Those with self-inflicted wounds had a worse prognosis, and women tended to do better than men. Also, those who were transferred from another hospital had a better chance of survival.
7. Better CEOs than Men
Titled Eve of Change: Women Redefining Corporate America, the new report analyzes finding from more than two year’s worth of interviews with 132 senior-level female executives, including black, Hispanic, Asian, white, and LGBTQ women working in the United States—plus interviews with 260 of the executives’ managers or direct reports.
The research shows that 57 percent of the strategic or structural changes in these companies were led by women, “with significant organizational impact, from contributing billions of dollars to bottom lines, building new businesses, or rebuilding failing ones, to inspiring social movements beyond their corporate doors.” Not only that, the report states, but multiple and often complex adjustments were involved in each change initiative launched by female leaders.
8. Better Coders Than Men
“We hypothesized that pull requests made by women are less likely to be accepted than those made by men,” wrote the team of researchers which consisted of students and assistant professors at North Carolina State University and Cal Polytech State University, California.
They were surprised to discover that they were wrong: They found that code from women is accepted at a higher rate, 78.6%. For men, it’s 74.6%.
9. Better Curators Than Men
A burst of female couplings prompts us to wonder whether gender matters when pairing artists and curators.
10. Better Decision-Makers Than Men
However, there are some differences. ‘Women are more collaborative,’ says Therese. ‘A female boss is more likely to ask the opinions of those around her when making a choice. Women ask for input, which has been shown to help you make better decisions. Ironically, however, this is often seen as a weakness rather than a strength.’
She also found that during times of stress, men and women make different choices – and the outcomes are often better when women are involved (a recent Fortune article on the financial crash of 2007 was entitled ‘How more women on Wall Street could have prevented the financial crisis’).
Or as Therese puts it: ‘Neuroscientists know about the differences between the way men and women make decisions, but investments bankers probably don’t.’
11. Better Directors Than Men
Women direct men better than men themselves, Sir Ben Kingsley has said.
The Hollywood star said that his experience of women directors is that they have been better than their male colleagues at helping actors to portray men’s vulnerability.
12. Better Divorcees Than Men
According to an online survey of 2,000 U.S. adults by Avvo, a legal research company, 75 percent of divorced women report having no regrets over the decision to part, whereas just 61 percent of divorced men say the same. Women are also much more likely to find dividends in blissful singledom than bummed-out wedlock. “Seventy-five percent of women say they’d rather be alone, successful and happy than be unhappy in a relationship overall, versus 58 percent of men believing the same,” the researchers write.
13. Better Drivers Than Men
“Women drivers take care of vehicles better, have a better record of safe driving and maybe it’s time we do a proper analysis of that,” Bulc said.
Women are underrepresented in Europe’s transport industry, according to annual statistics that Bulc presented today ranking the state of transport in the 28 EU member countries.
14. Better Entrepreneurs Than Men
There is consistent research confirming the finding that women make better entrepreneurs to some degree. According to 2016 BNP Paribas Global Entrepreneur Report, women are found to be slightly more successful than their male counterparts, and have high expectations in general. The annual revenue generated by those companies run by women are, on the average, about 13% more than the average of those in operation by males.
15. Better Farmers Than Men
The initiative urged those involved to combine the production of basic grains for consumption with crops for income generation, and the coffee and cocoa plantations were renovated and expanded.
In coffee, which before yielded on average 523 pounds per acre, women increased their production by another 523 pounds per acre, while men only added an additional 116 pounds per acre. And with cocoa, before yielding an average of 348 pounds per acre, the women increased production by 811 pounds and men by only and additional 348 pounds.
“It shows that when you give [women] the right opportunities, when given technical assistance, advice and training, they are more efficient than men at production. In addition, when there is improved communication between men and women and improved relationships, that carries over into the field as better production, thus improving household incomes,” asserts Estrada.
16. Better Fashion Designers Than Men
Donatella Versace has suggested women are better than men at designing clothes because gay fashion designers are releasing collections ” for the woman they want to be”.
The Italian fashion designer, vice president and chief designer of the Versace Group, said she believes women understand their bodies better.
Her comments in The Times Magazine are likely to raise a few eyebrows among her peers, but she believes female designers have an advantage because they “understand a woman’s body, a woman’s security and a woman’s attitude”.
17. Better Investors Than Men
There have been many studies of varying academic credibility which suggest that women make better long-term investors than men.
A seminal study called Boys will be boys: gender, overconfidence, and common stock investment by two academics from the University of California, Davis, showed that women investors beat their male counterparts by around 1 percentage point a year.
With long-term returns from the stock market averaging about 5pc a year, that’s a significant part of overall returns. Women’s ability to resist the urge to fiddle reaps rewards. An analysis of the 60,000 users of Openfolio, a US online investment-sharing platform, found that, in buoyant 2014, women outpaced men by an average of 0.4 of a percentage point.
In 2015, when markets fell, women lost an average of 2.5pc, compared with a loss of 3.8pc for men. This is not picking the winners in a rising market, but avoiding the worst effects of a falling market.
Outperformance has also been claimed at professional levels. Research by HFR, a specialist hedge fund analyst, into hedge fund managers found that funds managed by females had returned 59pc since 2007, against average returns of 37pc.
18. Better Leaders Than Men
Do women make better leaders than men? Many people think so, due to some of the qualities that men lack. Even if they do, the number of females at the executive positions in giant companies is really low as compared to their male counterparts.
19. Better Lifespans Than Men
Evidence of the longer lifespans for women includes:
The Human Mortality Database, which has complete lifespan tables for men and women from 38 countries that go back as far as 1751 for Sweden and 1816 for France. “Given this high data quality, it is impressive that for all 38 countries for every year in the database, female life expectancy at birth exceeds male life expectancy,” write Austad and Fischer, a research assistant professor of biology.
A lifelong advantage. Longer female survival expectancy is seen across the lifespan, at early life (birth to 5 years old) and at age 50. It is also seen at the end of life, where Gerontology Research Group data for the oldest of the old show that women make up 90 percent of the supercentenarians, those who live to 110 years of age or longer.
The birth cohorts from the mid-1800s to the early 1900s for Iceland. This small, genetically homogenous country—which was beset by catastrophes such as famine, flooding, volcanic eruptions and disease epidemics—provides a particularly vivid example of female survival, Austad and Fischer say. Over that time, “life expectancy at birth fell to as low as 21 years during catastrophes and rose to as high as 69 years during good times,” they write. “Yet in every year, regardless of food availability or pestilence, women at the beginning of life and near its end survived better than men.”
Resistance to most of the major causes of death. “Of the 15 top causes of death in the United States in 2013, women died at a lower age-adjusted rate of 13 of them, including all of the top six causes,” they write. “For one cause, stroke, there was no sex bias, and for one other, Alzheimer’s disease, women were more at risk.”
20. Better Listeners, More Collegial, More Open to New Ideas Than Men
I just think women in general are better listeners, are more collegial, more open to new ideas and how to make things work in a way that looks for win-win outcomes. That has been my experience.
21. Better Multi-Taskers Than Men
Prof Horne said he established the results after carrying out a story on 210 men and women.
He told Metro: “Women’s brains are wired differently from men’s and are more complex, so their sleep need will be slightly greater.”
“Women tend to multi-task – they do lots at once and are flexible – and so they use more of their actual brain than men do.
22. Better at Praying Than Men
Most major religions are male dominated, with male deities and exclusively male clergy. Sociologists have wondered why, despite the gender bias, women globally pray more than men. Pew cited the theory that it may be biological: testosterone-driven men are too aggressive to sit and pray.
23. Better Savers for Retirement Than Men
It turns out that women rule the roost when it comes to saving for retirement. Recent research by Vanguard shows that women are the ones signing up for 401(k) plans and saving a larger piece of their salaries, compared with their male counterparts.
“Women are better at this,” said Jean Young, the study’s author and a senior research analyst with the Vanguard Center for Retirement Research. “Men have more wealth, but that’s the wage effect,” because they earn more.
24. Better Smilers Than Men
This research has enabled the company to come up with some interesting cross-cultural findings so far.
For example, women have been found to express much more positive emotions than men, which isn’t that surprising, but in the US, women smile 40 percent more often than men, while in the UK, they found no significant difference.
25. Better Soccer Players Than Men
Five members of the U.S. women’s national soccer team filed a complaint Thursday with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), demanding that the women’s team––who have outperformed their male counterparts in just about every metric possible in the past couple years––be paid just as much as the men.
Better Theater Directors Than Men
Maxine Peake has claimed women are better at running theatres than men because they are more adept at multitasking and often have smaller egos.
Peake was speaking at The Stage Awards about the work of Sarah Frankcom at Manchester’s Royal Exchange, a theatre she has worked with on a number of occasions. The actor said women were instinctively better at “keeping all the balls in the air”.
She told The Stage: “I just think actually women are probably better for running buildings, because they can multitask. And I think – without sounding terribly sexist, and I’m not saying across the board – they generally have a smaller ego.”
27. Better Traders Than Men
In a field where females represent just 15 per cent of the workforce, you can perhaps be forgiven for assuming men are naturally better traders than women.
But recent research by Alexander Mann Solutions and Trading Hub, a global financial information services company, indicates quite the opposite.
The study tested 350 entry-level graduates over four weeks through a simulated trading exercise. At the end, the team of female participants were found to be 34 per cent more effective than their male counterparts.
28. Better Venture Capitalists Than Men
A recent study by Sahil Raina, an assistant finance professor at the University of Alberta, found that female-founded, venture capital-backed startups have much higher chances of a successful exit if the VC firms investing in them have women partners.
Raina looked at Crunchbase data on about 600 firms to compare how tech companies led by women compared to those led by men. What he found was consistent with other research: Male-led firms consistently exited—either went public or were sold—at higher rates than female-led firms. Within his sample, 17% of female founders had successful exits, compared to 27% of male founders.
29. Better Verbal Memory Skills in Early Stages of Alzheimer’s Than Men
Women may have a better memory for words than men despite evidence of similar levels of shrinkage in areas of the brain that show the earliest signs of Alzheimer’s disease, according to a study published in the March 16, 2016, online issue of Neurology®, the medical journal of the American Academy of Neurology.
30. Better Volunteers Than Men
The volunteer rate for women is more than six points higher than the rate for men, and the gap hasn’t changed over time. This past year, the rate among women — especially women without children — showed a significant decline, said Megan Dunn, economist at the BLS.
The gap raises some interesting questions, Dietz said. Women are more likely to be engaged with school-based organizations, and if there are kids at home, they might be the parent less likely to work or work part-time, he said.
31. Better War Photographers Than Men
Diana Zeyneb Alhindawi, 37, a Brooklyn-based photographer of Romanian-Iraqi heritage, said that while working in hostile environments she has been physically attacked, robbed at knifepoint, and accused of being an American spy.
Nevertheless, she said, the mere fact that she is female has enabled her to be a more effective photographer.
‘Women get intimate access easier than men do,’ she said. ‘We’re less of a threat and can better convince people to let their guard down around us.
‘I think people relax easier around a female, they say “no” less often if the photographer is a female, and they forget about our presence quicker, which allows us to get candid shots faster.
‘We can push boundaries and bend rules a bit more than men can before we’re reprimanded. And even then, because they don’t take me as seriously as they would a male photographer, we’re not kicked out or heavily reprimanded.’
32. Better Whisky Tasters Than Men
However, the fact is that women probably make better whisky tasters than men. Science says so.
Simply put, women generally have a better sense of smell than men. Various studies prove this, but probably the most famous – ‘the sweaty t-shirt experiment’ – was conducted by Dr. Claus Wedekind in Swizerland in 1995.
A Brazilian study found strong biological evidence that women are far better equipped than men for nosing. The study examined the number of cells in the olfactory bulbs – the first region of the brain to receive signals from the nose – in post-mortem brains of both women and men. The researchers discovered that women have on average 43% more cells in this structure and 50% more neurons than men.
33. Better Widows Than Men
Traditional wedding vows say “till death do us part,” but it looks like men have a tougher time when that time comes. A new study indicates that men experience more negative health outcomes when their wives die than women do when their husbands die.
34. Better With Money Than Men
Women in the US may make $0.78 for every dollar earned by a man, but studies show that in some ways women are actually better at investing, saving, and preparing for the future.
“When looking closer at our data and cross-referencing it with other data sources, we see that women working full-time in the United States earn approximately 23% less income than men but that women are taking steps to manage their finances better than men,” said Michele Raneri, vice president of analytics at Experian, in a statement that accompanied the credit bureau’s 2013 study of gender differences.
35. More Empathy Than Men
It’s hardly news that women are more empathetic than men, or that they tend to play more of a caring role. This, apparently, is because we are programmed to churn out babies and men are programmed to chase mammoths and watch Top Gear. This, traditionally, is why most nurses and care workers have been women. You could even argue that it’s why nurse training was dragged out of hospitals and into universities, as nurses were sick of being stereotyped as handmaidens to mighty doctors and didn’t want the world to think that nursing was just about smiling sweetly, wiping bottoms and mopping sweaty brows.
Wow. Powerful stuff. Well, I’m convinced. The future is female. Men suck. Time for all of us evil males to line up for a cup of Jonestown-blend Flavor-Aid and leave the world to its true mistresses.