Hoes Gon Be Hoes: Featuring Erin Keane

Yeah. You already know what it is.

More nonsense about the “Women’s March” on Washington. It’s pretty typical fare. A Feminist showing open disdain for men while demanding that men offer up themselves to serve Feminism.

The Women’s March on Washington, like all responses to the election that made Donald Trump our next president, has incurred no shortage of close readings as Americans and those watching us attempt to make sense of where we are culturally and politically in the wake of 2016 and in the dawn of the Trump presidency.

Nothing suggests rationally trying to make sense of a fact like putting pink wool cat ears on your heads and waving signs around. In fact, this is the very height of reason.

It began, as things do these days, on social media. Facebook drove its early momentum much in the same way that activists galvanized protests against police brutality in Ferguson and Baltimore on Twitter in 2014 and 2015 as the Black Lives Matter movement took shape.

Which has accomplished approximately…NOTHING.

What started with a couple of unrelated posts tapped into widespread desire for a show of solidarity and strength in opposition to Trump’s inauguration. Now organizers are bringing thousands of people together to descend on Washington on Jan. 21, with concurrent sister marches planned in cities across the country.

Bus rental companies across America are rejoicing.

And as with any initiative that begins with individuals and not with a focus group, there have already been growing pains. On Jan. 9, the New York Times examined the “contentious racial dialogue” that the march’s organization has sparked, somewhat along generational lines between “the personal is political” approach, which often ends up benefiting affluent white women the most, and those who highlight more intersectional concerns. Among other internal clashes over feminism, race and class, a quote posted on the organizing page by feminist scholar bell hooks about “confronting the ways women — through sex, class and race — dominated and exploited other women” apparently put some white women off the march and the movement around it.

Nothing says “solidarity” like accusing your supposed allies of inherent moral defect based on their ancestry and/or race.

Conversations like this are necessary — painful, perhaps, for women on all sides of the discussion, but very necessary — as the brand of female empowerment that Hillary Clinton came to symbolize for the women she most visibly represents (and I resemble that remark myself) is interrogated and expanded and refined for the more inclusive and, we can only hope, more successful feminist future. If the march is going to organize an effective feminist response to the current political and cultural climate, it’s good to start off on a less self-indulgent foot than Pantsuit Nation, another Facebook-grown collective now turned into a puzzling publishing endeavor, did.

“Conversation” being the latest Progressive/Social Justice buzzword for a Struggle Session, wherein you stand in the circle as Feminists accuse you of various unspeakable privilege-crimes like being

1) White

2) Male

3) Wealthy


It would be great if activists didn’t have to pause their work to have these conversations with women whose feelings are hurt by an intersectional focus to help them figure out how to move past their personal responses. But if we were already there as a country, we probably wouldn’t be in this position to begin with. As it is, women definitely have enough on their plates without having to make sure that men also feel sufficiently included and excited by the event to join in with their full and active support.

It would be equally great if Feminists didn’t excuse themselves from civil discourse while on their Holy Pussy Jihad. But in intersectional feminist la-la land, when you are an “oppressed class” you are free to behave in any way you deem fit against an “oppressor class,” no matter how personally accusatory or objectively offensive that behavior may be.

But heaven forfend that you even suggest that a woman let you grab her by the pussy.

The people who profess that they are working for “equality” have one set of rules for themselves, and another set of rules for those not in their tribe.

Might I suggest — lightly, so I don’t hurt any men’s feelings and give them another excuse for opting out — that this is not an invitation to a second cousin’s wedding, but an opportunity to participate in an organized effort to salvage our ravaged democracy? And that there is a certain amount of “get over it” they need to hear and act upon?

1. I cannot “opt out” of something I was never a participant in to begin with.

2. America is not a democracy; it is a republic. No matter how much you and your ochlocratic ilk would like to put individual rights up on the altar of the howling mobs, you cannot wish the Constitution away.

3. Donald Trump won. Get over it. Donald Trump defeated the warmongering, lying, corrupt, plutocrat, Hillary Rodham Clinton.


Gosh. I love “get over it.” It’s such a brief, yet clear exercise in sneering contempt and handwaving in place of good faith argumentation.

Perfect for a Feminist.

Dear men of America: If you have been waiting for your engraved invitation to participate in this march, please consider it delivered. Imagine me slipping an envelope under your door late at night, like a bid to an exclusive social club instead of a public protest. There are conditions on this invitation, however. You will not automatically be put in charge, which might be a shock to some of your systems. You are being invited instead to do what women have done for generations: Show up and ask “What can I do?” You will be put to work.

You can offer up all of the imaginary invitations, engraved, verbal, written, you like. What you, nor anyone associated with this overwrought hen party has done is offered up a good reason why I, or any other man, should be involved this.

You have nothing going on that entitles you to any man showing up and asking “What can I do?” Your cause is not worthy of any honest or decent man’s contribution of time, intellect, or strength.

I am truly sorry that our culture has conditioned you to automatically reject anything branded as a “woman thing,” out of fear of violence and/or social rejection.

This is a highly compressed nugget of bullshit.

First, Keane has spent the last three paragraphs laying the snide condescension men like a cement mixer. Now, she has switched gears to phony sympathy with a bit of shaming (I’m sorry you’re “scared” of violence/rejection i.e. less than a REAL MAN(tm)).

A “Real Man” to any particular female, is one who does what is most useful to her at the particular moment in which said female challenges your manhood.

The only “rejection” that Western culture has trained men to fear is rejection by women.

But now is not the time to be a quiet and passive supporter of women. Perhaps after this march you can have your own painful and necessary dialogues about why you waited for women to organize a powerful show of resistance and then, instead of being grateful for the opportunity to participate, some of you pouted about not having a seat at the planning table.

Because females are “Strong and Independent and Don’t Need No Man.” I am a man. I do not render aid or service where it is not needed. I don’t waste my time or effort on the demonstrably ungrateful or the outright spiteful.

Perhaps you can have your own painful and necessary dialogues about being in thrall to superficial branding over substance, because this march and the movement it is galvanizing are about women’s lives, not our lifestyles, and deserve to be treated with accordant gravity.

I’ll pass, thanks. I don’t fetishize hurt feelings quite like Feminists do.

Please, do talk amongst yourselves on these issues. But don’t lean on women to educate you, unless you are hiring them in a professional capacity to do so. Women are busy; they don’t have time to lead you gently by the hand through this process.

I’d rather talk to other men about how fucking daffy and arrogant Feminists are to expect men to come and accept second-class status, based on sex, in the Feminist milieu as “Equality.” I would rather laugh at the outright hypocrisy Keane displays in expecting men to voluntary surrender their time and labor to Feminist idiocy while demanding that men hire Feminists to defend their ideology against questioning.

Men are busy. We don’t have time to listen to you, follow you, or lead you gently by the hand ANYWHERE. (I hope you noticed the pivot back to snide condescension.)

In the meantime, if you believe the ideals a Trump presidency is sure to shore up will be toxic for the country, show up. March alongside and behind your partners, mothers, daughters, sisters, neighbors, colleagues and fellow citizens. I assure you that your masculinity will remain fully intact — it may well be enhanced! — even if you slip on a pussy hat for the event.

So wait, is this the pro-Women March? Or the anti-Trump march? Didn’t a bunch of females vote for Trump? Did they get their V-cards pulled for voting the wrong way?

But, on the topic of cards, I know what card you won’t be pulling; my masculinity card for your own petty political benefit.

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