Hoes Gon’ Be Hoes: Matthew Facciani

I’m running a two-for-one special on male feminist nonsense today. Matthew Facciani of Patheos blog is here to lecture men of how we may better serve our rightful deity, feminism.

Now with the heightened cultural awareness regarding sexual violence, more and more women are speaking out against the sexism and abuse they have been dealing with since, well forever. Women are sharing their stories ranging from assault to harassment. All of these women speaking up about the frustrations of sexism may make us men feel defensive.

But instead of shutting down when you see a woman post online that “men are trash” why not take a moment to reflect on what inspired her post? Why not try to read it with an open mind and see her perspective?

Why should I? I am not obligated to interpret a female’s intentions that run contrary to her words. I am not obligated to contextualize her statements for her. I am not obligated to drag her emotional caterwauling into the realm of reason.

As Kanye said, “that’s a really bad way to start the conversation.”

First off, I used to be a “nice guy” when I was younger. Basically, this meant that I felt entitled to relationships because I was so nice to women. I got these messages from our culture that men should “get the girl” if they are just persistent and nice enough to break through the “friendzone.”

Ah, good old blue pill logic. Be nice to females and they’ll be nice to you. Throw your coat over those mud-puddles. Pay for multiple food excursions. Lavish her with gifts. Maybe, just maybe, if the stars are properly aligned and the moon is high in the sky, your princess on whom you have expended your money and more importantly, your time, might, MIGHT reward your efforts with her pussy.

Thankfully, one of the great things about the red pill is that a man learns that sexual attraction cannot be negotiated. Sexual acts can be negotiated, but not attraction. You can enhance your attractiveness and you undermine attractiveness, but no amount of good boy points will buy a man attractiveness in a female’s eyes. Good boy points are worth less than Chuck E. Cheese tickets and harder to get.

Early on in my dating life, a woman who I was seeing told me she wasn’t interested anymore. I was devastated. I was so nice to her! We got along so well! How could she not want to see me anymore?!

So I kept trying to get her to change her mind. It felt unfair. Finally, she told me she never wanted to speak to me again. I was crushed. Not only did I lose the relationship, I lost the connection entirely.

Maybe you weren’t as ‘nice’ as you thought you were. Maybe she thought you were an ugly prig. Maybe she was keeping you in a holding pattern while she pursued other options. As females will often tell men ‘a woman has the right to change her mind.’ That’s true enough. And I thank a female for giving me a straight up answer because that means I don’t have to give them any of my time or my attention. And that is what the game is between men and females and probably always has been. Females want as much of a man’s time as possible without having to give him any pussy. Men want to get pussy with a small of a commitment of time as possible.

That all happened a long time ago and I learned a lot from it. I started questioning lots of other toxic messages I may have learned. I started listening to women’s stories more and studying feminism. It was like a snowball of learning. The more I learned about inequality, the more I wanted to help out too. I spent the past 5 years or so being involved in a lot of gender equality activism. But I am far from feeling “enlightened” about feminism! I am constantly learning about ways I can do better.

So you are crying over pussy you never got? And the pussy you never got was your feminist equivalent of the Apostle Paul on the road to Damascus. You allowed a female to fuck with your mind, to twist your entire worldview, and you never saw her vagina once? Never looked at it, never smelled it, never licked it, never rubbed it, never fucked it.

Vaginas. They need to be Schedule I under the Controlled Substances Act. Vagina has ruined more men’s lives than heroin. Females cannot be trusted to just walk around with this highly addictive and often lethal narcotic between their legs.

Recently, I wrote about how I didn’t always do the best job amplifying women’s voices. I was new to feminism and was told I should “use my privilege for good” and didn’t fully realize what that meant. I just started sharing feminist 101 points on my Facebook that ended up getting me thousands of likes from my thousands of liberal Facebook friends. However, many women were making the same points as me. So why didn’t I just share their words? Another toxic behavior men can learn is speaking over women. This was coined to be “he-peating.” I was basically centering the myself in the conversation of feminism instead of just amplifying the voices of women doing the groundwork.

I didn’t even realize I was doing this until it was pointed out to me. Now if I want to share some important point about feminism, I just share it from a woman who said it first. The only time I talk about feminism with my own words is when I try to explicitly address men, such as in this post.

Those 101 points were bullshit. Regardless, maybe their words sucked and yours were just better. You basically Caitlyn Jenner’d the feminists and came in, naive and wide-eyed and fresh-faced to feminism and did a better job articulating feminism than the feminists who have wasted their lives imbibing reheated class warfare.

Men: use these conversations as an opportunity to grow as a person. These women are giving you insights on how to treat people better. Listen to them. It may temporarily feel uncomfortable to realize you did something sexist or made some mistake, but isn’t it better to catch it now then to continue to make the same mistakes?

A ‘conversation’ implies an exchange of ideas. Delivering one’s testimonial followed by a call-to-action is not a ‘conversation’; it is a lecture in mortal danger of becoming a sermon. But notice the hypocrisy: Feminists claim a right and moral duty to make any given man feel ‘uncomfortable’ in the name of proselytizing feminism. But if a man makes a female feel uncomfortable in pursuing sex, that’s the worst thing ever and he must be condemned and shamed. Female’s feelings are held inviolable. Men’s feelings are optional.

The only mistake most men need to correct with respect to females is investing time and effort in females who hold them in low regard or pursuing females who are not interested instead of investing their time and effort in their own betterment or pleasure.

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