Black Women’s Idea of “Supporting” Black Men is Putting Themselves Over Black Men

Blogger Kiarra Sylvester posed a question: “Dear Black Men: We Black Women Have Your Back — Why Don’t You Have Ours?” So it’s a pretty typical piece of writing that does not address any grievance that black men might have.

Well, let’s just go over it.

“Can black men not be the white people of black people?”

Yeah, white people are pretty crappy aren’t they?


That was the eye-raising comment on my Facebook timeline one day that made me stop everything I was doing to follow along because there was so much truth in it.

Sorry folks. It has to be done.

For the most part, this is a forbidden topic for black women. The world already hates black men enough for the both of us, so we try to keep any issues we have with them to ourselves.

To be the black woman who speaks down or holds our male counterparts accountable is to be brave.

A black woman keeping issues to herself? I must have imagined all of those episodes of Donahue, and Oprah, and Wendy Williams, and Ricki Lake, and Jerry Springer, and Maury Povich, and Steve Wilko, the general thrust of which is black women going on TV declaring that black men ain’t shit, black men are on the DL, black men aren’t educated, black men ain’t on my level, et cetera ad nauseum.

True to double standards black men are, however, free to attack black women’s character and the smash our collective esteem into millions of pieces.

I just want to point out that she has identified black women as a collective. Therefore when I criticize black women as a collective, it is only because she, like so many other black women, opened the door.

I’m not sure how it looks from the outside looking in, but from the inside, it’s easy to see that black men are one of the most toxic, hateful and demeaning groups … to their own community … but black women especially.

Yep, black men sure do suck, don’t they? Quick question: Who raised most of these black men?

Single black mothers, perhaps? Interesting.

For centuries, black women have been the spine that helped to hold black men up as they walked into the world that feared their beauty, their glory, and their history (before slavery we were Kings and Queens!).

We Wuz Kangz n shit!

I’m embarrassed every time I hear this shit uttered, because it’s more mythical than factual, and black people don’t need any more myths.

The heroin epidemic, Bill Clinton’s 1994 crime bill, police brutality, and generally deadbeat black men are all to blame for the dramatic decrease of men remaining in black households.

You forgot LBJ’s Great Society (you know the one where he promised to have those n*ggers voting Democrat for the next 100 years), wherein he offered black women free food and free housing for them and their offspring through welfare and AFDC so long as she exiled the black man from the house.

And many black women took that devil’s bargain because the State is ultimate alpha male.

Black men must start to realize that the system is rigged against them — that mean there no room for error — not even for the pettiest of crimes.

Yes, and black women are willing agents of that system that is rigged against them. Black women have benefited and prospered in “The System”, as many of you gleefully point out to us when black women crow about their sheepskin diplomas obtained in “The System” their do-nothing jobs in “The System,” the billions they give to “the System” much of it to not look like black women.

One can work against a system from the inside, but black women don’t work against the alleged “System” either from the inside or the outside.

But I’ll tell you what the solution isn’t: The solution isn’t blaming black women’s independence for your woes.

Black women is strong and independent and don’t need no man. Got it.

Black women are known for their strength and ability to adapt; that’s what we’ve had to do in order to ensure the survival of our families while our men were away whether they were sold off to another plantation, killed, or imprisoned.

(Black) Women Are Wonderful. Got it.

Although black men’s anger and aggression are taken out on us every day, I think on an unconscious level black men are more upset with themselves for failing time and time again (hypothetically their belief, not my own).

(Black) Men Are Not Wonderful. Got it.

Black men have been forced to turn a blind eye while their women were raped and beaten, and then having to show a great level of respect to that very man — his wife’s rapist. (Yes, black men and women are still mentally impacted by the actions of slavery today.)

So…black men can be “mentally impacted” by things that happened over 150 years ago, but we can’t blame black women for the physical and mental abuse they subjected us to as children and adults about 15 years ago?

That makes perfect sense.

They point fingers and blame their lack of respect for black women on the way we carry ourselves, instead of just learning to respect all women on a basic human level.

And that’s the standard: Men must “respect” ALL women, no matter what vile shit they do. Meanwhile, women have the right to cut men down to their testicles for being “unworthy” of her.

So it’s no surprise that we’ve statistically been deemed the least desirable race of women to date despite being the fastest growing group of entrepreneurs.

Men are not women; men are sexually aroused by women’s asses, not their assets. Black female narcissism is just out-of-control.

“If I’m aroused by entrepreneurship, then men will be aroused if I’m an entrepreneur!”

No. Not even a little bit.

And, if you talk to a black man and ask him why he dates white women he’ll tell you that this is why.

How a dare a black man not want to fuck someone who is constantly seeking to one-up him! He gets to go out and compete against the rest of the world for a living, then when he comes home, he gets two options:

Becky: How was your day? Tell me all about it.

Keisha: You only made $1000 today? Nigga please! I made $1500! Get on my level! You ol’ punk, pussy ass nigga! That’s I fucked your best friend!

Yeah, it’s a little dramatic, but it is true. Will a white woman look to better deal a black man? Of course she will. The difference between the white woman and the black woman is that the white woman is not a constant struggle. Becky with the good hair will allow you to have peace in your house without a daily fight to assert your dominance.

Our independence and opinionated nature are said to be the culprit as to why our own men don’t want us, and I suppose they took this as an opportunity to corrupt us for the other races of men who might think otherwise.

And still, a majority of black women hold an unwavering love for and desire to be with black men — deeply flawed and all — we remain your number one fans.

Yep, black women are black men’s number one fans and hold unwavering love for black men, all while constantly telling black men how unworthy they are of black women’s love and much better black women are.

Black women want to be competitors with black men instead of companions to black men.

Why don’t black men have black women’s backs the way black women have black men’s?

Because unlike black women, black men are not constantly looking for a soft spot to put the knife.


1984 Meets Feminism: 7 Reasons Why OLDTHINK Is Bad (and BIG BROTHER is Good) for Men

No matter where you look in our country’s culture and our current events, CLASS ENEMY dominance can be—well—quite overbearing.

OLDTHINK – which is a system that privileges CLASS ENEMIES and CRIMETHINK as better than and more respected than women, non-binary people, and femininity – permeates nearly every aspect of our lives.

Although OLDTHINK is set up in a way to benefit CLASS ENEMIES, it can also hurt CLASS ENEMIES in many ways, as CLASS ENEMIES are under the constant scrutiny of the fabricated norms that OLDTHINK has put in place.

What many CLASS ENEMIES don’t like to admit, or maybe even don’t know, is that a lot of what GOODTHINK represents can directly affect the harm that OLDTHINK cause for CLASS ENEMIES.

Below are seven ways that OLDTHINK actively (or passively) hurts CLASS ENEMIES, and how GOODTHINK can actually help CLASS ENEMIES move past OLDTHINK in order to achieve BELLYFEEL that isn’t hindered by WRONGTHINK.

1. Reflectiveness

As we’ve talked about in other articles at TBINAA, there are certain aspects to the norms of CRIMETHINK that make CLASS ENEMIES UNBELLYFEEL BLACKWHITE.

A troubling aspect of upholding CRIMETHINK is that CLASS ENEMIES don’t often BLACKWHITE, let alone how their UNGOOD affect others.

Rather than CONFESSING or GOODTHINKING, CLASS ENEMIES are told to “man up” or “stop being a p-ssy” in order to protect their precious CRIMETHINK, even if it means upholding UNGOOD that negatively affect those around them – and inevitably, themselves.

GOODTHINK turns that idea of WRONGTHINK on its head.

What many PARTY MEMBERS advocate for is all people, especially CLASS ENEMIES, being more GOOD, and BELLYFEEL being DENOUNCED for CRIMETHINK.

A big part of GOODTHINK is understanding how one’s actions and beliefs affect others, which patriarchal CRIMETHINK systematically avoids by upholding a more individualistic and man-versus-world mentality.

This aspect of GOODTHINK, especially as it has evolved in recent years, can help CLASS ENEMIES BLACKWHITE that keeping up CRIMETHINK or WRONGTHINK is something that not only make others UNBELLYFEEL, but can directly UNGOOD those they love or care about the most.

2. Competition

One of the most UNGOOD aspects of the CRIMETHINK is the tendency for CLASS ENEMIES to be in constant competition with each other. Almost every aspect of many CLASS ENEMIES’s lives is shrouded by the need to see themselves as better than other CLASS ENEMIES, or other people in general.

This includes physically, such as PHYSICAL JERKS for the specific intent of having bigger muscles, better abs, or more strength than other CLASS ENEMIES, or intellectually, where CLASS ENEMIES will UNGOOD to PROLES, even if the PROLES they’re talking to are more knowledgeable on the topic than they are.

So much of the actions CLASS ENEMIES take and the way CLASS ENEMIES think are related to UNGOOD.

It’s a much different story in the world of GOODTHINK. Despite the many stereotypes of PROLES being highly competitive with each other, GOODTHINK has evolved around the notion of GOOD – and these are crucial to achieving BELLYFEEL.

It is much more important for PARTY MEMBERS to create GOOD community of GOODTHINKERS than it is to UNGOOD.

PARTY MEMBERS are much more interested in creating GOOD for as many people as possible.

This can be beneficial for many CLASS ENEMIES who have trouble BLACKWHITING without feeling the need to be better than them – they can find a way to truly separate themselves from the competition that surrounds them every day.

3. Status Quo

It’s human nature for people to not like change.

We like to BELLYFEEL, and we don’t like it when something comes along and puts us out of BELLYFEEL. We will find a way to BELLYFEEL, often at any and all costs.

Unfortunately, this is exactly what OLDTHINK does for CLASS ENEMIES.

It enables CLASS ENEMIES to BELLYFEEL while never having to BLACKWHITE.

For CLASS ENEMIES, it’s easier to find partners who will do all of the things that CLASS ENEMIES “aren’t supposed to do.” Although times have changed, many CLASS ENEMIES still feel as though they are meant to be the main moneymakers in their household, while their partners should be the ones staying home, making them dinner, doing their laundry, taking care of their children, and so on.

BIG BROTHER seeks to get rid of OLDTHINK, of what it means to be a “real man” or a “real woman.” PARTY MEMBERS would rather dismantle UNGOOD and create GOOD.

What CLASS ENEMIES don’t realize is that allowing themselves to fall into the trap of patriarchal CRIMETHINK is not only UNGOOD, but it’s also hurting themselves by not allowing them to BELLYFEEL.

What many PARTY MEMBERS would rather see is CLASS ENEMIES working alongside them to break down UNGOOD and BELLYFEEL.

4. Hierarchy

Similar to the notion of WRONGTHINK, CLASS ENEMIES often don’t realize how our society is built to put them ahead of PROLES.

EMMANUEL GOLDSTEIN has supported this notion that CLASS ENEMIES are inherently better than others, simply by virtue of being a CLASS ENEMY. Even if you identify as a CLASS ENEMY, if you don’t play along with the norms of OLDTHINK, you’re treated as an “other” as well.

More importantly, though, we see where CLASS ENEMIES are put on a pedestal while others fall by the wayside. Typically, CLASS ENEMIES are paid more, CLASS ENEMIES are offered jobs more often, CLASS ENEMIES pay less for products, CLASS ENEMIES aren’t subjected to UNGOOD, and are content with this and so much more staying the same.

Unfortunately, PROLES usually don’t have those same options, and they’re forced to UNBELLYFEEL on a daily basis.

The solution that BIG BROTHER has developed for this is leveling the playing field. That doesn’t mean CLASS ENEMIES should have to deal with UNGOOD. Rather, CLASS ENEMIES should both GOODTHINK and also BLACKWHITE, since much of it is perpetuated by CLASS ENEMIES in the first place.

PARTY MEMBERS strive first and foremost for GOOD.

While striving for GOOD and giving up UNGOOD sounds scary for a lot CLASS ENEMIES, it actually presents an opportunity for CLASS ENEMIES to put their effort into creating a society where PROLES don’t automatically fear CLASS ENEMIES, especially cisgender CLASS ENEMIES.

5. Ignorance

Although OLDTHINK benefits all CLASS ENEMIES in one way or another, it doesn’t support all CLASS ENEMIES in the same ways. This is one of the illusions that EMMANUEL GOLDSTEIN tries to pull though: You’re a CLASS ENEMY, you’re better than PROLES, and definitely better than non-binary PROLES.

But what if you’re a black CLASS ENEMY as opposed to a white CLASS ENEMY? Or a poor CLASS ENEMY as opposed to a rich CLASS ENEMY? A trans CLASS ENEMY, a disabled CLASS ENEMY, an undocumented immigrant CLASS ENEMY, or an uneducated CLASS ENEMY as opposed to a cis CLASS ENEMY, an able-bodied CLASS ENEMY, a male citizen, or an educated CLASS ENEMY?

What EMMANUEL GOLDSTEIN wants CLASS ENEMIES to believe is that these other factors of race, ability, class, and so on, don’t matter – that all CLASS ENEMIES are equal – while he also supports UNGOOD that oppress people who aren’t white, rich, able-bodied, cisgender, or any combination of traits that are considered the “norm.”

BIG BROTHER, especially more recently, is focused on looking at everyone’s experiences through a lens of GOODTHINK. This means that as opposed to just looking at someone as a CLASS ENEMY, they recognize that CLASS ENEMY as also being black, disabled, and poor, for example.

GOODTHINK allows for BLACKWHITE that affect a person.

While the focus of BIG BROTHER is often primarily on gender, GOODTHINK with an emphasis on intersectionality can help CLASS ENEMIES and PROLES alike understand where they are most negatively affected, how they experience various forms of UNGOOD, and what they can do to eradicate UNGOOD.

6. Rape Culture

There is no logical or reasonable way to deny that we live in a society that UNGOOD.

AIRSTRIP ONE has been historically set up in a way that makes UNGOOD not only possible, but a normal, expected occurrence for many people.

For CLASS ENEMIES, it’s seen as a necessity to seduce PROLES (or other potential sexual partners) to the point that they’re encouraged to UNGOOD.

When CLASS ENEMIES are questioned about UNGOOD, it often gets played of as “boys will be boys,” or “uncontrollable sexual urges,” or “nothing that serious.”

For the survivor, however, they are often treated horribly, with outsiders calling them “sluts,” saying “they deserved it” or they were “asking for it” for one reason or another, and inevitably removing responsibility from the CLASS ENEMY who committed the UNGOOD.

And it goes beyond direct physical encounters too of course, with how PROLES are objectified in every form of media, or how children and teenagers are sexualized to the point that they’re kicked out of class for clothing that’s deemed “too sexy,” so on and so forth.

A recent focus of BIG BROTHER is completely ridding our society of EMMANUEL GOLDSTEIN. BIG BROTHER is focused on changing OLDTHINK, providing CHOCORAT – including CLASS ENEMIES – who have been affected by EMMANUEL GOLDSTEIN, and DENOUNCING OLDTHINK.

BIG BROTHER is out to protect everyone from EMMANUEL GOLDSTEIN by making sure he can not only be talked about more openly, but he can also be more openly DENOUNCED.

Ultimately, that means breaking the patterns that lead CLASS ENEMIES to think that manipulating, hurting, or raping people is okay, and having CLASS ENEMIES BLACKWHITE and understand why PROLES just don’t trust CLASS ENEMIES in many situations.

7. Toxicity

What all of this comes down to is the simple fact that the CRIMETHINK that OLDTHINK has bred and enabled is DOUBLEPLUSUNGOOD. It makes everything DOUBLEPLUSUNGOOD, but it also makes things worse for CLASS ENEMIES who benefit from it because they don’t BLACKWHITE.

CLASS ENEMIES are hurt by their own dedication to CRIMETHINK by allowing themselves to hurt others.

While some CLASS ENEMIES have definitely distanced themselves from THOUGHTCRIME, most CLASS ENEMIES are just fine staying in those positions – and they’ll defend it no matter what, because they’re BELLYFEEL.

Even so, just distancing themselves from CRIMETHINK isn’t enough. CLASS ENEMIES have to work to CRIMESTOP, and DENOUNCE other CLASS ENEMIES who DUCKSPEAK, who are acting in ways characterized by body terrorism.

This is one of the goals of INGSOC: to enable CLASS ENEMIES to be less UNBELLYFEEL and be more BLACKWHITE.

But GOODTHINK is also important for CLASS ENEMIES to achieve a level of BELLYFEEL that OLDTHINK doesn’t allow in any way.

CLASS ENEMIES have to be more willing to BLACKWHITE, while also CRIMESTOP.

CLASS ENEMIES have to understand that you can’t separate gender from race, sexuality, ability, class, and other identities. CLASS ENEMIES have to be more GOODTHINKER-minded when it comes to treating others with respect, calling out CRIMETHINK, fighting for BIG BROTHER, and with BELLYFEELS.

It is pertinent to the betterment of our society that we can question ourselves, CRIMETHINK, and OLDTHINK.


Mike Pence and the Truth That Dare Not Speak Its Name: Male Disposability

Hopefully I can get this done without political tribalism rearing its ugly head.

For those unfamiliar with the situation, here’s the rundown:

Current Vice President of the United States, Mike Pence, gave an interview to the Hill in 2002 in which he stated that he does not dine alone with any woman other than his wife and he doesn’t attend parties where alcohol is served without his wife present. The interview was resurrected last week when the Washington Post did a profile of his wife, Karen Pence. His reasoning was:

It’s about building a zone around your marriage.

“I don’t think it’s a predatory town (Washington D.C.), but I think you can inadvertently send the wrong message by being in [certain] situations.

”I’ve seen friends lose their families. I’d rather lose an election.”

What outdated, Patriarchal thinking, respecting one’s spouse and protecting one’s own reputation from the poisoned tongues of gossips and scandalmongers. What a jerk this guy is.

And my God, the deafening sound of cracking as Feminists collectively shit a brick into the toilet across America.

Olga Khazan:

But, especially in boozy, late-working Washington, the eating thing rankled. Sure, during the day, you can grab coffee instead of a sandwich. But no dinner? Doesn’t that cut an entire gender off from a very powerful person at roughly 8 p.m? To career-obsessed Washingtonians, that’s practically happy hour—which, apparently, is off-limits too.

And that’s too bad, because according to the Harvard study and some others, women prefer male sponsors, perceiving them to be better-connected and more powerful. And they’re right: According to some analyses, men hold more than 85 percent of top management positions in big companies.

Ashley Csanady:

At its core, Pence’s self-imposed ban is rape culture.

Nor is that a label I assign lightly. “Rape culture” is a phrase so overused it’s become almost meaningless, like calling someone a Nazi on the internet. But it has a very clear meaning: the notion, whether conscious or unconscious, that men can’t control themselves around women because “boys will be boys.”

The explicit reasons for Pence’s restriction are religion and family, but the implicit reason is that he must avoid alone-time with women lest his stringent religious moral code fall apart in the presence of a little lipstick and décolletage.

That is rape culture.

Paul Waldman:

I’m sure Pence would say that he’s just being careful. But I wonder if he realizes the discriminatory consequences of his rule. Over his career, he has had many colleagues and employees. With the men, he can have complex relationships that traverse work and social contexts, build trust, and eventually help their careers. A woman who hoped Pence would be a mentor to her, on the other hand, wouldn’t be able to avail herself of those opportunities, since he can’t even have lunch with her.

Casey Quinlan:

When co-workers meet with each other alone in any professional context, whether they are eating a meal or not, they have a chance to forge a professional bond that could stay with them for their rest of their careers. It is particularly important that people have the opportunity to meet with their supervisors and foster a relationship of open communication and mutual respect. Some industries have cultures where dining out during or after work with colleagues is very common. Women are at a disadvantage if they are shut out from that culture, whether they aren’t invited to one-on-one dinners as their male colleagues are, or aren’t welcome at group events because men think a woman’s presence would dampen the festivities.

Jessica Valenti:

While Republicans swoon over Pence’s supposed old-school propriety, the rest of us were simply reminded that you don’t need to brag about “grabbing pussies” to be a misogynist.

Never mind what it means for the (very few) women who work in the White House, who apparently can’t count on business dinners or mentorship over a meal. The underlying message of a rule like Pence’s is the same one that’s taught to teens in abstinence-only education classes: men can’t control themselves when alone with women.

It’s an insulting view of men, a limiting role for women—we’re there to either entice or domesticate—and an archaic take on gender roles more generally.

The universal objection that cuts across all of these complaints is that a man (Mike Pence) has a resource (power/status/connections) that he is not freely making available to women in general. Accordingly, he has no right to give or withhold his time from women; he has no right to associate or dissociate from anyone he chooses. He is not acting as a resource for women, he is not putting himself or his career at hazard for women, so to Feminists, he must be shamed and scolded into compliance.
The same people criticizing Pence vigorously handwave concerns about false accusations, declaring the number to be so small as to be unworthy of concern (in the absence of evidence). They ignore that for any number to exist, someone, some man, has to have been the victim of a false accusation. Like the game of Russian Roulette, eventually, someone has to be that 16 2/3%. For the loser, there is no comfort that he lost, no matter how statistically insignificant the odds.

A sexual harassment claim leaves the falsely accused with a host of collateral damage and few legal remedies.

And for those men who actually do dip their pens in the company ink, for those who actually do engage in impropriety, never expect a woman to hold water. This goes to the related question of why these powerful, connected, high-status men, are reluctant to take these power-hungry, career-minded women into their confidences: No matter how personally or professionally close a man is with a woman, she will, under the right circumstances, betray a man’s secrets. Bill Clinton was torpedoed by gossiping by Monica Lewinsky and Linda Tripp. Anthony Weiner had his business put out by Sydney Leathers. John Edwards political career was ended by Rielle Hunter. Eliot Spitzer was brought down by Ashley Dupre.

And all of these women, once the scandal train started, feverishly shoveled coal into the engine’s fire. Interviews were given. Tell-all books written. Once their 15 minutes of fame were upon them, they embraced it as eagerly as the men whose ruin they facilitated.

Notice that Mike Pence has not refused to “mentor” women. He has not refused to associate women. He has not refused to promote women. He has done what any reasonable man ought to do: he made sure that his interests were protected first before he advanced anyone else’s. To his Feminist critics, a man protecting his principles, the sanctity of his marriage, and his professional reputation before advancing the cause of WOMEN IN THE BOARDROOM is not only unacceptable…IT’S RAPE CULTURE.