Blogger Kiarra Sylvester posed a question: “Dear Black Men: We Black Women Have Your Back — Why Don’t You Have Ours?” So it’s a pretty typical piece of writing that does not address any grievance that black men might have.
Well, let’s just go over it.
“Can black men not be the white people of black people?”
Yeah, white people are pretty crappy aren’t they?
That was the eye-raising comment on my Facebook timeline one day that made me stop everything I was doing to follow along because there was so much truth in it.
Sorry folks. It has to be done.
For the most part, this is a forbidden topic for black women. The world already hates black men enough for the both of us, so we try to keep any issues we have with them to ourselves.
To be the black woman who speaks down or holds our male counterparts accountable is to be brave.
A black woman keeping issues to herself? I must have imagined all of those episodes of Donahue, and Oprah, and Wendy Williams, and Ricki Lake, and Jerry Springer, and Maury Povich, and Steve Wilko, the general thrust of which is black women going on TV declaring that black men ain’t shit, black men are on the DL, black men aren’t educated, black men ain’t on my level, et cetera ad nauseum.
True to double standards black men are, however, free to attack black women’s character and the smash our collective esteem into millions of pieces.
I just want to point out that she has identified black women as a collective. Therefore when I criticize black women as a collective, it is only because she, like so many other black women, opened the door.
I’m not sure how it looks from the outside looking in, but from the inside, it’s easy to see that black men are one of the most toxic, hateful and demeaning groups … to their own community … but black women especially.
Yep, black men sure do suck, don’t they? Quick question: Who raised most of these black men?
Single black mothers, perhaps? Interesting.
For centuries, black women have been the spine that helped to hold black men up as they walked into the world that feared their beauty, their glory, and their history (before slavery we were Kings and Queens!).
We Wuz Kangz n shit!
I’m embarrassed every time I hear this shit uttered, because it’s more mythical than factual, and black people don’t need any more myths.
The heroin epidemic, Bill Clinton’s 1994 crime bill, police brutality, and generally deadbeat black men are all to blame for the dramatic decrease of men remaining in black households.
You forgot LBJ’s Great Society (you know the one where he promised to have those n*ggers voting Democrat for the next 100 years), wherein he offered black women free food and free housing for them and their offspring through welfare and AFDC so long as she exiled the black man from the house.
And many black women took that devil’s bargain because the State is ultimate alpha male.
Black men must start to realize that the system is rigged against them — that mean there no room for error — not even for the pettiest of crimes.
Yes, and black women are willing agents of that system that is rigged against them. Black women have benefited and prospered in “The System”, as many of you gleefully point out to us when black women crow about their sheepskin diplomas obtained in “The System” their do-nothing jobs in “The System,” the billions they give to “the System” much of it to not look like black women.
One can work against a system from the inside, but black women don’t work against the alleged “System” either from the inside or the outside.
But I’ll tell you what the solution isn’t: The solution isn’t blaming black women’s independence for your woes.
Black women is strong and independent and don’t need no man. Got it.
Black women are known for their strength and ability to adapt; that’s what we’ve had to do in order to ensure the survival of our families while our men were away whether they were sold off to another plantation, killed, or imprisoned.
(Black) Women Are Wonderful. Got it.
Although black men’s anger and aggression are taken out on us every day, I think on an unconscious level black men are more upset with themselves for failing time and time again (hypothetically their belief, not my own).
(Black) Men Are Not Wonderful. Got it.
Black men have been forced to turn a blind eye while their women were raped and beaten, and then having to show a great level of respect to that very man — his wife’s rapist. (Yes, black men and women are still mentally impacted by the actions of slavery today.)
So…black men can be “mentally impacted” by things that happened over 150 years ago, but we can’t blame black women for the physical and mental abuse they subjected us to as children and adults about 15 years ago?
That makes perfect sense.
They point fingers and blame their lack of respect for black women on the way we carry ourselves, instead of just learning to respect all women on a basic human level.
And that’s the standard: Men must “respect” ALL women, no matter what vile shit they do. Meanwhile, women have the right to cut men down to their testicles for being “unworthy” of her.
So it’s no surprise that we’ve statistically been deemed the least desirable race of women to date despite being the fastest growing group of entrepreneurs.
Men are not women; men are sexually aroused by women’s asses, not their assets. Black female narcissism is just out-of-control.
“If I’m aroused by entrepreneurship, then men will be aroused if I’m an entrepreneur!”
No. Not even a little bit.
And, if you talk to a black man and ask him why he dates white women he’ll tell you that this is why.
How a dare a black man not want to fuck someone who is constantly seeking to one-up him! He gets to go out and compete against the rest of the world for a living, then when he comes home, he gets two options:
Becky: How was your day? Tell me all about it.
Keisha: You only made $1000 today? Nigga please! I made $1500! Get on my level! You ol’ punk, pussy ass nigga! That’s I fucked your best friend!
Yeah, it’s a little dramatic, but it is true. Will a white woman look to better deal a black man? Of course she will. The difference between the white woman and the black woman is that the white woman is not a constant struggle. Becky with the good hair will allow you to have peace in your house without a daily fight to assert your dominance.
Our independence and opinionated nature are said to be the culprit as to why our own men don’t want us, and I suppose they took this as an opportunity to corrupt us for the other races of men who might think otherwise.
And still, a majority of black women hold an unwavering love for and desire to be with black men — deeply flawed and all — we remain your number one fans.
Yep, black women are black men’s number one fans and hold unwavering love for black men, all while constantly telling black men how unworthy they are of black women’s love and much better black women are.
Black women want to be competitors with black men instead of companions to black men.
Why don’t black men have black women’s backs the way black women have black men’s?
Because unlike black women, black men are not constantly looking for a soft spot to put the knife.