Clementine Ford Invites Men Back to the Plantation for Some Unpaid Labour

Clementine Ford published this very interesting piece a couple of days ago. It differed wildly in tone from her usual offerings of “men are whiny little man-babies” and “ironic misandry“; it was almost reasonable. She couldn’t resist putting women on the Cross and inviting the reader to admire how beautiful her martyrdom of pregnancy and childrearing is, but the difference in tone gave me pause.

What angle is this asshole trying to work?

Unless she repudiated the whole “women are justified in hating men because REASONS” schtick, the article didn’t make sense. Then I remembered her 2016 literary masterpiece, “Fight Like a Girl” and it brought the article into context.

She is inviting men to engage in unpaid labor. Which is supposedly terrible for women. Let’s enjoy it together with excerpts from her book.

There are a lot of cliches and sayings that get thrown around following the birth of a baby, but none are so apt as this one: it takes a village to raise a child. And hoo boy, do we really need that village. But you know who we really need in that village? More men.

Fascinating: From Clementine’s book “Fight Like a Girl”:

Do men really need to be acknowledged for doing the right thing? Do they even realise they’re taking credit for work that women have performed more tirelessly and with greater risk to their health and wellbeing? Do men need to be revered and admired, their egos stroked with the palms of a thousand tired hands?

If women are so tireless and such risk-takers, why does their Feminist village require men at all?

I’m not suggesting this imbalance of care is men’s fault. There are lots of reasons men are hesitant to offer this kind of support, and chief among them is the fear of being seen as a threat to the safety of children. Some families choose not to involve external men as caregivers because of these reasons. I can’t direct them to do otherwise, but I do think it poses a wasted opportunity to diversify the way we perceive childcare in our communities.

Ultimately, I invite men to be a part of my child’s village because I think there’s value to be had both for men in recognising their role in this village and for children in seeing men in this role.

I don’t want my son to think the people he can turn to for help are Daddy and a million other women.

I do these things not to inconvenience men in particular or because I assume my child and I are so important that we can just demand attention and time from strangers. I do it because child-rearing is hard and it does require support and outside help at times, but this help is typically just absorbed by women as more of the daily unpaid labour we perform invisibly for the benefit of others.

Fascinating. From Clementine’s book, “Fight Like a Girl”:

The thrill of supporting a man with our bodies, our children and our unpaid labour is not only supposed to make us happy but is offered as some kind of vital ingredient in the world’s evolution. It’s why absurd, insulting platitudes are thrown around to appease us, platitudes like ‘behind every great man there is a woman’.

Insulting platitudes like “it takes a village to raise a child”? In the case of men, it takes a village to raise a child you didn’t sire? That a woman didn’t deem you worthy of breeding, but she does deem you worthy of doing some “unpaid labour” on her behalf with her spawn?

Nope. Rearing another man’s child does not make me happy. I do not care how vital it is to the village or evolution. I am not appeased by “it takes a village.”

Not my kid; not my problem.

I do it because I am invested in creating a more empathetic community, and empathy involves helping other people when they need it. I do it because men are just as capable of caregiving for children as women are, but they are rarely called on to assist in the care of children outside their own immediate families.

Fascinating. From Clementine’s book, “Fight Like a Girl”:

I know now why that is. It’s because women do the work. We always have. It is usually done without complaint or protestation, because most girls are conditioned from birth to accept that unpaid domestic labour is our natural responsibility.

So, women do things “without complaint or protestation” (what is this mythical creature, a woman who does not complain? A cryptozoological being) and that just gets Clementine’s dander all the way up. But men should just “help other people when they need it”, regardless of the imposition on a man’s time, goals, or desire, (i.e. be a utility) because that’s “empathy” (translation: Something Clementine prefers).

I repeat: Not my kid; not my problem.

And I do it because I want my child to see value in extending that empathy and care to people beyond himself. I want him to consider the gentle care of children to be as much a masculine trait as it is a feminine one.

As his awareness of the world grows at a rate faster than his own fortitude or independence, I don’t want him to think that the people he can turn to for help are Daddy and a million other women. We can shape the villages we live in. This is how I’m shaping mine.

Fascinating. From Clementine’s book “Fight Like a Girl”:

Secondly, we have to start being okay with saying that. I know it’s difficult, but men aren’t children or dogs. They don’t get a cookie because they did the right thing. Not giving them a reward is not the same as swearing at them or throwing a bucket of shit at their head, even though some of them might act as if it is. We have to resist the urge to respond to basic decency by treating it as if it’s some kind of enormously magnanimous gesture. It isn’t. There shouldn’t be anything astonishing about a man who doesn’t degrade women, hurt them or treat them as somehow less than him. As Rita O’Grady says, that’s as it should be. You don’t get a fucking ribbon just for turning up to a morning tea, especially not when women’s reward for doing so much more than that is to gratefully scoop up the crumbs you leave behind.

Patriarchy Acts. Rape Culture Teaches. Sexism Wants.

The Devil Is A Liar.

Feminism is religion done wrong. If you’re going to make a moral argument, you have to provide some incentive for making a good moral decision over a bad one other than “I, Clementine Ford, shall be ever so cross with you if you do something I don’t like.” If you are going to ascribe metaphysical evil to men (all men benefit from the Patriarchy!) then you have to offer them something for doing good, whether it’s eternal paradise, 72 virgins, resurrection, Nirvana, prosperity, a pat on the head, etc.

Despite what Feminists think, men are just as human as women and almost all humans respond to incentives. Feminists don’t want to offer incentives. Clementine Ford is openly contemptuous of the idea of incentivizing Feminism, except with “insulting platitudes” or loud shrieking when a man does Feminism in the “wrong” way (as if there were a right way).

I don’t think I’ll be joining your Feminist village. It appears that the only payment for men’s labor to women and children is the business end of a stick.

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Hoes Gon Be Hoes: Featuring Clementine Ford


Oh My Darling, Clementine.

She’s back again with more…whatever she mistakenly believes to be rhetoric.

Buddha bless her little heart. At least she tries.

There’s a certain dialect that has evolved on the Internet that embodies the most petulant of childish behaviour – the linguistic equivalent of your sibling waving their finger two inches from your face while shrieking, “you can’t stop me, I’m not touching you!”

Yes. It’s called “ironic misandry.”

Donald Trump does it when he shouts FAKE NEWS at any media coverage that presents him unfavourably. It’s the language of calling people “snowflakes” when they raise objections to inhumanity or bigotry.

Or when snowflakes like Clementine Ford accuse Ben Fordham of things he never said or did.

(Sidebar: there’s a delicious irony in the fact the people who sneer words like “triggered”, “snowflakes” and “safe space” are the same people who run hashtagged searches and Google alerts so they can lash out at anything that challenges their cocoon of entitlement.)

You keep using that word, irony. I do not think you know what it means.

Professional propagandists, gossips, scolds, and scandal-mongers like Clementine Ford go about their work with a complete lack of either conscience or self-awareness that keeping track of their bullshit could be full-time job if anyone were willing to pay for the service.

It’s the practice of calling women who stand up for themselves “feminazis” or “misandric beasts” and accusing the men who support them of being “cucks” or “white knight manginas”.

It’s the practice of calling men who stand up for themselves “man-babies” or “misogynists and accusing the women who support them of being “fucking cunts” or “morons.”

There’s an awful lot of glass in that house from which Clem is throwing stones.

All this is par for the course when dealing with deeply insecure and emotionally stunted men online. In my book, I dedicate a whole chapter to breaking down these insults and what we can say in response. I called that chapter “Dicktionary”, but like all good language guides it needs updating every so often. With that in mind, here are some new entries.

Aww, Clem is shilling for her bullshit book. Got it.

1. “You must be fun at parties.”

This is a more casual way of saying someone (usually a woman) is an uptight, boner-killing enemy of joy who patrols the streets (metaphorical or otherwise) looking for shindigs to ruin by projectile vomiting frustrated feminist hatred all over the walls. Being not-fun at parties is a bad, buzz-kill kind of thing to be. Cool Girls know how to be fun at parties and life in general, and it basically involves never challenging male behaviour or attitudes and absolutely never, without exception, ever being so unchill as to tell a man you find his jokes about rape gross and predatory.

I’ve had “you must be fun at parties” thrown at me almost as frequently as I’ve been told my ironic joke about building a cannon to fire men into sun (which I tweeted after being informed I wouldn’t stop until all men in the world were fired) was Deadly Serious and the height of man-hating.

You keep using that word, irony. I do not think you know what it means.

Isn’t it interesting how some men think there are no topics that should be off-limits when it comes to comedy, except when the topic is them? It’s almost as if being reduced to ridiculous stereotypes about how useless they are upsets them in some way.

The majority of comedians spend their careers making fun of themselves, their own flaws, their own foibles and missteps in life.

But sure, anonymous young man living on the Internet’s treacherous edge: I guess if your idea of a good time is sitting around telling jokes about how women belong in the kitchen making you a sandwich and laughing about how funny rape and domestic violence are, then I’m probably not going to be much fun at your party. And I am 100 per cent okay with that, because your party sounds like it should be taking place in prison.

So wait, are we talking about parties (actual social gatherings)? Or are we talking about the Internet? Wasn’t Clem the one mocking people about maintaining Google Alerts to stay updated about things they don’t like? And yet, Clem is trawling the “Internet’s treacherous edge” for the latest in “make me a sammich” jokes and “rape and domestic violence” humor?

Clem lives a world of hypocrisy more than one of irony.

2. “Unrapeable.”

It sounds almost impossible to believe, but some men interchangeably view rape as something they can use to threaten you with and something they can deny you.

Over the last decade, I’ve been told more times than I can count that I either deserve a good raping (in a variety of different ways – having a dick shoved in my mouth to shut me up is a popular choice) or that I’m mad because no one would ever rape me.

Last week, I read a comment from someone suggesting that the reason I hate men is probably because I’ve been raped AND ALSO because I can’t find a man who wants to “root” me.

Regardless, it’s pretty creepy that there are men out there who truly believe their sexual attention is so vital to a woman’s self esteem that she considers sexual assault something to aspire to.

Whenever one of these rancid toilet brushes throws this at me, I always ask him if he spends a lot of time thinking about the women he would and wouldn’t rape. This seems to confuse and anger him which, to be fair, is sort of his natural state anyway.

It’s just “Ironic Misogyny”, Clem.

Naturally, the feminist who makes it her mission to drag public discourse into the gutter and then sanitize those actions by claiming to be “ironic” has significant troubles with people using her tactics against her.

If your whole raison d’etre is to provoke emotional reactions from people, you have no legitimate grounds for objection when someone tries to provoke one from you.

“Ironic misandry” vs. “Unrapeable.” You both deserve each other.

3. “Daddy issues”

It never ceases to amaze me how many angry, hateful misogynists seem to think good fatherhood is about raising self-hating daughters. If you’re a woman who stands up for herself and her rights, a woman who believes that she has value and that she’s worth being treated like an equal, you must only be like that because your father either ignored or abandoned you; or, as I’m also told, paid you too much of the bad kind of attention (note that this attention is never considered bad when it comes from strange men on the street).

Clem just knocked that man of straw down faster than Amanda Nunes knocked down Ronda Rousey.

Good work, Clem. Your value is that you are the Strawmanweight Champion of the Internet. Wear it with pride.

It never occurs to these men that good fathers raise strong daughters, and that this good fathering doesn’t include teaching girls that they deserve be made the butt of retro-sexist jokes that do nothing but reinforce the false economy of male power.

I agree. Good fathers raise strong daughters. All father should take their daughters to the gym and teach them proper squat form.

I get as tired of reading these empty affirmations of the Feminist faith as I’m sure Clem is of writing them.

But again, these men are often the same ones who insist fathers are given a raw deal and that feminists trash their good names as leverage against them in custody battles.

Laying false charges against an opponent in a custody dispute. That never happens.

A mother has been arrested after court documents reveal she filed nearly a dozen false CPS reports against the father of her child.

Maria “Angie” Resio was arrested in Cameron County last week on a felony count of making a false report. According to court documents, Resio made ten reports to CPS over a span of five years of neglect, abuse and sexual abuse. Court papers state Resio, on several occasions, was verbally combative with CPS workers. According to court records, caseworkers found no evidence of abuse in Resio’s daughters case.

Except when it does…

For these men, being the product of a bad father is a convenient accusation against the women who not only threaten their power, but remind them just what good fatherhood can and does produce. I am a feminist because I had a father who taught me to believe in myself and my own humanity.

Objection. Assumes facts not in evidence.

What “power” does any given man hold that a woman does not?

And yes, Clem. Your father did fail you if he raised a daughter who bears false witness against others (see Ben Fordham) and believes in “her own humanity” but not the humanity of others.

I fight for a world in which the daughters of inadequate, hostile losers will know that they count and that dignity in their lives is also worth fighting for, a world where they don’t have to laugh along when men (including their fathers) say they’re “only good for one thing”, that “you can’t tell a woman with two black eyes something you haven’t told her twice already”, that rape is “surprise sex” and that women who argue against all of this are just “angry man-hating bitches” who “need a good dick up them to put them in place”.

Clem fights for a world in which women get to be the daughters of inadequate, hostile losers, i.e. the type of women VOLUNTARILY CHOOSE to lay down and have children with inadequate men unsuited to fatherhood.

Sorry Clem, but it’s 2015THE CURRENT YEAR. If daddy was a piece of shit, guess what? Mommy likes giving her pussy to pieces of shit, meaning that she is likely a piece of shit herself, if you’re guided by the idea that like attracts like. Daddy beats mommy? That’s the type of man mommy likes. Daddy spends mommy’s money on booze and drugs? That’s the type of man mommy likes. Daddy has kids all over town? That’s the type of man mommy likes.

Also, we (in America at least), are three generations in on men being raised primarily by women. If women were the all-knowing, all-loving purveyors of peace and civility that Feminists would have us believe they are, then their issue of “toxic” masculinity should be largely non-existent, or at least, diminished.

I fight for that world despite the roadblocks that these men keep trying to put up to slow me down, and I know which one of us their daughters will thank one day.

Don’t worry, daughters of inadequate, hostile mothers who fuck inadequate men. Clementine is fighting for a world in which you get to keep being the daughters of inadequate people.

Make sure to thank her appropriately.

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Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth: My Favorite Election Night Tweets

Below is just a few of the hilarious tweets from Election Night 2016.

My cup of Feminist Tears runneth over. The cool, refreshing brew of their anguish nourishes the very depths of my soul.

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Stay losing, Clementine.

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Bill Clinton was on the ballot? Pretty sure he can’t run for President again.

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Oh Jess. You never have anything clever to say. Why start now?

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Yes. Hillary Clinton is a disreputable criminal who has spent the last 24 years not just fucking up America, but the world in general. Her handiwork is readily in evidence from Kosovo, to Haiti, to Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Egypt, and Syria, that’s what’s gone wrong.

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Hear that white women? Hillary is your representative. Can I just CC all of you the invoice for Libya?

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Whereas white men should vote for the non-white non-man because…reasons?

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Yes, that is the only explanation, Amanda. Hillary is beautiful and perfect and sprang forth fully formed from the head of Zeus like the goddess Athena.

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Obama’s approval ratings are probably as legitimate as the pre-election polls were.

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NO U.
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White women, if you voted for Trump, it just means that your husband was standing over your shoulder with his belt wrapped around his hand, ready to put you back in your place if you pulled the wrong lever.

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You heard Amanda. Only women are allowed to have mating preferences, not men. We’re just supposed to take any piece of pussy that lands on our lap.

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You left out backlash to war, debt, bureaucracy and tyranny.

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Or, to make David more concise: MAH COLD WAR!”

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Once again, making David more concise: “How dare these filthy peasants not vote the way I want? They should be flogged for their impertinence!”

America, this is how the majority of the Beltway views you.

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That’s right. Wish death and destruction on your political adversaries.

America, this is how the majority of the Beltway views you.

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Notices the Yarmulke in the photo

Mr. Howerton and Mrs. Valenti, how long have you been anti-Semites?

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Hisham… you’re okay, dude. Have a cookie.

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You know that thing I talk about? That thing where, rather than argue about issues, you just declare them morally unfit and because of that you win?

You’re doing it again, Pauly Krugnuts.