Hoes Gon Be Hoes featuring Nathaniel Haas

I’m really having to pick the bottom of the barrel for this one, but I was entertained by it, which is all that counts around here.

Here’s the troubling bottom line that explains why rape and sexual assault are an epidemic, especially on college campuses, with no end in sight: We don’t treat, talk about or think about sexual assault and rape like we do many other crimes.

Of course not. Other crimes simply happen when a person intends to do an act that the state has deemed unlawful. Rape, on the other hand, has been declared a crime against humanity thanks to the shrieking feminist harridans and globalist nannies.

In reality, the crime rape is most analogous to is battery.

Austin James Wilkerson was given a cakewalk sentence by Boulder District Judge Patrick Butler after being convicted of sexually assaulting a helpless victim and unlawful sexual conduct. This is the latest example of the strange, detached-from-reality manner in which rape and sexual assault are discussed and adjudicated in this country.

While the sentence is strange, the judge, according to Colorado law, was within his powers to impose such a sentence.

According to the FBI and the Justice Department, rape and sexual assault have false-accusation rates similar to other felonies. But for every 100 rapes, 32 will be reported to police, seven of those will lead to an arrest, three of those will be prosecuted, and two will put the perpetrator behind bars.

The problem with Nathaniel’s argument (cribbed shamelessly from RAINN) is that rape is a legal term of art, not something for feminists to use for shock value on a skewed and manipulated self-reporting survey. From RAINN’s own phony baloney “statistics” they start off by saying that of 1000 rapes, which assumes, without evidence (Nathaniel should pay attention. I’m sure they teach a class on Evidence at SoCal Law) that 1,000 acts of rape took place. They drop down to 344 “rapes” are reported to the police. Again, this statement assumes that the 344 claims, like the 1000 before it, had merit and could be supported by sufficient evidence to overcome the defendant’s presumption of innocence. And then they go down to 63 claims which lead to arrest, again assuming that all of those claims before them were meritorious (without evidence) but at least at this point, we have 63 which, after police investigation were determined to have at least probable cause to arrest a suspect. At this stage, RAINN et al. would like you assume (without evidence) that the police are such stumbling idiots that they just let 281 cases of rape slide because PATRIARCHY, not because they couldn’t make a case or after thorough investigation, the claim was bogus.

You should have the plot at this point. Bad statistics make for bad arguments.

Wilkerson is part of that 2 percent. While he faced a prison term between four years and the rest of his life, he was sentenced to just two years of work release and 20 years’ probation.

I’d like to pick Mr. Wilkerson’s lawyer’s brain has to how he pulled off jail time (though 20 years probation is probably something that could be contested on appeal).

According to Families Against Mandatory Minimums, the average sentence for a federal marijuana crime is three years. Bribing a federal meat inspector carries a mandatory minimum sentence of one year in prison. Stalking in violation of a restraining order also carries a mandatory one-year prison sentence. Under Colorado law, the most lenient grand theft auto charge is usually punishable by six to 18 months in jail.


Wilkerson could have bribed a meat inspector, sold weed to the young woman who he assaulted, followed her around in violation of a restraining order, or stolen her car, and he likely would have landed in prison for a longer term than he was sentenced in this case.

Yeah, Nathaniel lost the plot here. Federal court and state court are separate jurisdictions. And, like rape, you still have to present sufficient evidence of bribing a meat inspector, or selling marijuana sufficient for a federal prosecutor to take the case (not taking into account the present tension between Colorado law and federal law concerning the possession and sale of marijuana), or stalking, or even stealing a car.

What you “know” doesn’t matter in court. Only what you can “prove.” You’ve got to past that before you can schedule the hanging.

A lot of what you need to know about why sexual assault and rape are such an outrageous problem is reflected in that disgraceful inconsistency. And imagine if the defense in any of those hypothetical cases had proceeded like it did over the days Wilkerson was in trial:

“Ms. Doe, what were you wearing when Mr. Wilkerson stole your car? Did your gray cardigan suggest to him that you might be OK with him driving it away? Are you sure you weren’t behaving in a manner that was ‘asking for’ your car to be taken?”

“And are you absolutely sure you don’t remember consenting to having your car stolen?”

Nathaniel, people have stolen cars and then argued that the victim of the theft told the accused they could borrow it. Or they took the car to satisfy some oral contract or debt. Or that the accusing witness filed the claim against the defendant maliciously.

It is neither outrageous nor disgraceful that a defendant attempt to raise reasonable doubt on the state’s claims against him.

Defenders of Wilkerson will point the finger at college binge drinking as the real bogeyman to blame for incidents like this. It’s a cop-out: Binge drinking also amplifies the risk of DUIs, suicide, homicide, domestic violence, and a host of other crimes, but our society has come to believe that those who commit those crimes under the influence are just as culpable as those who break the law sober. Why not for sexual assault?

Because there is no law that allows you to be drunk and drive on public roads. Or be drunk and beat someone up. Or be drunk and kill someone.

But it is legal to be drunk and have sex. Trust me on this.

Moreover, despite good evidence that the vast majority of rapes are committed by serial offenders who will commit multiple rapes unless stopped, we still pretend that without intervention, Thursday-night benders will turn average college students into sex-crazed demons whose lives and reputations depend on their liver’s ability to process alcohol.

Huh? This sentence is kind of a clusterfuck.

The bottom line is this: We wouldn’t tolerate the abysmal percentage of committed rapes that lead to conviction and punishment of the perpetrator if it were the same for murders or kidnappings. But we do treat rape and sexual assault victims with a scrutiny that has no basis in reality, given the crime is just as falsely reported as any other. And we’re obsessed with quick fixes like alcohol consumption that obfuscate society’s fixation with treating rape and sexual assault much more casually when it comes to punishing perpetrators.

Okay, even the bottom line here is confusing. Is Nathaniel arguing that defendants in sex crimes cases should be barred from questioning or undermining the accusing witness’ credibility? (BELIEVE-HERism) That Americans just kind of go LOL RAPE? (which is inaccurate in light of the fact that several states punished rape by death [See Louisiana v. Kennedy 2008]). That people are blaming it on T-Pain and the a-a-a-a-alcohol?

So how should “perpetrators” be punished? The Supreme Court has barred killing men convicted of rape as disproportionate to the offense (much to the chagrin of feminists and the Cult of the Holy Vagina). Exile? 99 years on the chain gang? 10-30 years imprisonment? Castration (chemical or surgical)?

The Wilkerson case has shone the light on precisely that problem. We absolutely shouldn’t lose the chance to use that spotlight to have a serious conversation about changing societal attitudes towards rape and sexual assault.

Never let a crisis go to waste, even if you have to fabricate it out of phony statistics and empty sophistry. The feminist war against due process continues unabated.

You’ll make a great lawyer, Nathaniel. You just stick with it, lil’ buddy.

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